Overcoming Gridlock

Gridlock is when you have a recurring conversation about a particular subject and are unable to resolve anything.

John M. Gottman said,

“Remember that you don’t have to solve the problem to get past gridlock. Neither of you has to ‘give in’ or ‘lose.’ The goal is to acknowledge and discuss the issue without hurting each other.”

Gridlock often occurs when you and your spouse both have dreams or desires that don’t seem to be met or respected by the other person. So, in order to overcome gridlock you need to have open communication with each other and share your deepest dreams and desires for your marriage and life together.

After you detect and discuss the dreams within the conflict, you need to show your spouse that you respect their dream. Make a conscious effort to make their dreams a reality.

John M. Gottman also said,

“Acknowledging and respecting each other’s deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is key to saving and enriching your marriage.”

Hopefully as you strive to detect and acknowledge or fulfill your spouse’s dreams, they will follow your example and try to do the same for you. One very important thing you must be sure to do though is, if your souse does acknowledge your dreams, please say “thank you!”

When you say “thank you” to your spouse you are showing them appreciation for their efforts. Although, it is my belief that you are not only showing them that they are appreciated, but that you truly love them.