Nurture Your Relationship

H. Wallace Goddard said, 

“Afflictions are the process by which God cultivates growth. Rather than dread our difficulties, we can learn to welcome them. We can learn to see them as blessings from heaven.”

I’ve always tried to keep this type of perspective whenever I’ve found myself facing trials, so why not apply this to marriage as well?

I’d always heard the phrase, “Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s worth it!” As I was preparing for marriage I thought I had a pretty good idea of how I faced trials, and how I knew that marriage wasn’t going to be easy and that I would need to push through it. I was right about that, marriage hasn’t been easy and I have needed to push through it at times, but I had no idea how difficult it really would be.

What I mean when I say, “I had no idea how difficult it really would be,” is we faced many trials together and had our fair share of arguments, but what married couple doesn't ever have an argument? The important thing from this though is we have been able to overcome all of our arguments and trials we've faced because we had the desire to work things out and stay together.

That being said, I can honestly say that marriage is one of the most difficult and yet most rewarding experiences in my entire life.

Upon reading the book, “the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” I’ve found the second principle to be very inspiring when it comes to overcoming difficulties and trials in marriage: “Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration.”

John M. Gottman said, 

“Having a fundamentally positive view of your spouse and your marriage is a powerful buffer when bad times hit.”

Even though you may think that you’ve already gone through the whole, “get-to-know-you,” stage of the relationship I believe you’re never truly done with that. We are constantly changing throughout our lives. Some changes are for the good and some not so much. We need to take the time to get to know each other over and over again.

When we take the time to go on dates or simply ask each other about current interests you may have, that all leads toward nurturing your fondness and admiration for each other as well as strengthening your relationship as a whole.